10 Questions Young Women Should Ask Their Mates

I'm in the process of developing a curriculum for young women that will stress the importance of choosing a good mate! I believe that a teaching mechanism such as this is vastly important as we have alarming rates of teen pregnancies as well as fathers who are unresponsive when it comes to their children.

This post is not a bash to parents who are doing the best that they can, however women in general have slacked greatly when it comes to holding a collective standard for their men. I waited until I was basically 20 years old to loose my virginity due in part to having a great mother and a friend who asked me a few questions and they went something like this:

My friend: what is one thing that you value more than anything that you call your own? Me: I don't know, but the first thing that comes to mind is my baby! my stereo system (I loved that thing almost as much as I loved myself).

My friend: Would you willingly give that to someone your dating? Say after just a month? Me: Hell NO!

My friend: Well if you wouldn't give your stereo system your pride and joy to someone your dating why would you willing think of giving away your virginity!?!

Me: Speechless (sitting silently in thought)

I wanted to recap a variation of the conversation that I had with my friend that night because it has stuck with me till this day. Whenever I started dating someone new I would always ask myself, would I give him my stereo system? lol

I believe that we as women don't talk to the young women in our life enough about relationships and sex. Sex itself is so taboo, but is one of the leading causes of death and heartache. I propose that young women ask or get the following information from their potential partner:

1. Will you go to the clinic to get tested with me?

2. Can I meet your family and friends?

3. Ask for a copy of their drivers license or ID to write down or retain the correct spelling of their name, birth date, and address. If they have to show ID to vote and buy liquor, why not before sex?

4. Ask about family relationships i.e: does he have kids what is relationship with his parents and or child(ren) like? Does he see and take care of them financially or otherwise on a consistent basis? (this can be really telling, a man who has a good relationship with his parents is a good thing!)

5. Does he have a job? Completed high school and have ambitions/dreams?

6. Will he show you off to his friends and family?

7. Does he love you! Is he to cool to say it? Does he want a relationship or just a fuck buddy?

8. (This should be higher on the list) Is he or has he been married or does he have a girlfriend? How long has it been? Whats the longest he's been in a relationship?

9. What does his credit look like? Is he responsible?

10. Will he vow to protect you at all times by wearing a condom?

I feel that if young women can't ask or obtain the info from their potential partners that is listed above as 10 questions, but is more like 20 then they should NOT give up the PUNANY! PERIOD! If he can't be honest with you then there are many many more fish in the sea! Don't settle is my advice, life is too short to live your life being a single parent unwillingly among a host of other things that can come along with not asking your partner the right questions. You have to love yourself FIRST, if you don't love you how do you expect him to?

Like Lauryn Hill said "some guys, some guys are only about... that thing..."

I LOVE MY SISTERS and will work to create sisterhood! Love n Lite!

Yoni Bling

Ever heard of vajazzle?

Well I hadn't unitl a friend told me about it, and I'm not realy sure why I'm doing a post about it. However I do feel that the Yoni is a powerful thing and that all women should feel beautiful above and below the belt.

Do you wanna spice it up a bit or give yourself a beautiful treat?

Well, consider having your Yoni vajazzled. It's basiically bling or "badazzle" for down under. There are a varitey of designs and phrases that you can choose from, and most likely a spa or salon in your area offers this service. You can also order "decals" online that you can apply yourself right in the comfort of your own home. How exotic! personally I think it would be fun to have this done and then take some cute pictures.

Stubborn Cough

Today I had to nurse on my son he has a really stubborn cough due to over indulgence on valentines day treats. It got so bad that he was crying every time he coughed due to the pain. Here's what I do to combat non-productive coughing and it usually works overnight. In order to losen up the phlegm and combat inlamation this is what I do:

1. Water!! I know this is a reoccuring theme in my posts but I can't stress it enough! Being properly hydrated is key to fighting any kind of ailment plus it helps to break up mucus.

2. Vitamin C! I think people tend to forget about our good old friend vitamin C. Your body can't store it nor can it produce it. It helps to catch free raqdicals that are produced when food is broken down or your body comes into contact with certain pollutants. According to the National Library of medicine's website vitamin C deficency can lead to:

•Anemia
•Bleeding gums
•Decreased ability to fight infection
•Decreased wound-healing rate
•Dry and splitting hair
•Easy bruising
•Gingivitis (inflammation of the gums)
•Nosebleeds
•Possible weight gain because of slowed metabolism
•Rough, dry, scaly skin
•Swollen and painful joints
•Weakened tooth enamel

3. Garlic. I use garlic for many things and using it for coughs is deffinantely one of them. I use half of a clove of garlic chopped into smaller pieces I swallow them as I would a tablet. Although my children won't do this I do also keep a jar of honey or Agave with a few fresh garlic cloves in it for them. After sitting for a few hours the garlic infuses itself into the honey or agave it's like sweet garlic juice:)you can give your child one or two tablespoons of the honey when needed.

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4. Last but not leaste. A heating pad! I usually try to do the vitamin C and garlic right before I go to bed then top it off with a heating pad on my chest. This usally clears up any chest pain or stubborn mucus over night. Heat works wonders! Hope this helps! Love N Lite!

My Creed

The following is a passage from one of my favorite authors:



“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” ~Anias Nin~

Naturally Whiten Nails

I wanted to write this before I cut them off again. I recently by defalt actually discovered something that made my nails much whiter than they had been. I was reading about minerals and how important they are for vital biological functions within the body, and I decided to supplement my diet with some. The picture below is from about two weeks of growth.

I also use baking soda when washing dishes to soften the water so it's not so harsh and drying for my nails and hands and also as a disinfectant to replace bleach. I also noticed an improvement in skin clarity! Hope this helps! Love N Lite!

Helpful links:

1. The minerals I use: http://www.traceminerals.com/

2. Recipes for cleaning naturally: http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/latest/green-cleaning-spring-cleaning-460303

Deep Condition with Shea Butter

Shea butter is a wonderful moisturizer!

I recently did a deep conditioning treatment to prepare my hair to be straightened I used a Shea Butter mixture that contained essential oils. I really loved the results! If you like to experiment with deep conditioners try this:

1. Wash hair thoroughly

2. Use a lite oil like coconut or olive oil to comb through hair

3. Apply a generous amount of natural Shea butter to hair then cover with plastic cap or saran warp

It's best if you can make sure that your head gets a little bit warm so that your hair follicles can open and are ready to absorb the Shea butter. I like to keep my hair covered for a few hours sometimes half a day! Once that's done you can let your hair air dry or blow dry it, and style as desired. Shea butter is a natural emollient and full of vitamins A, E, and F it contains wonderful essential fatty acids that hair love!

Butter it up Baby!

Have you Squirted yet?: Female Ejaculation

A little over two years ago a friend of mine and I were talking about "squirting" better known as female ejaculation. I confided in her that I had never done it, but really wanted to experience it. She gave me a couple of simple pointers which helped me to SQUIRT!

This is what she told me to do:

1. Make sure your in a place where you won't be disturbed so that you can focus on the sensations you can either do this alone or with a partner.

2. With one hand stimulate the clitoris up until the Yoni is naturally lubricated. Then gradually add a finger or two (two works best for me, with them slightly spread).

3. Build up your climax with both clitoral and "vaginal" stimulation it works well when you slightly cup your fingers theres a slight rigid mound once you insert your fingers, you want to stimulate this.

4. Upon the verge of climax PUSH! as if you were giving birth (I like to visualize what I want at this point, almost like a prayer).This seems unnatural at first but as you get accustomed to it it will become second nature.  Let me know if this works for you! Love N Lite!









3 ways to Reprogram your Thoughts/Beliefs

Lately I've been focusing on re-programing  my brain. Weird as it may sound, my opinion is that beliefs play a big role in how we as people operate, beliefs determine what we will and will not do.

Although some beliefs are beneficial for our growth as individuals some are not.

That's what I've been focusing on; a way to change unproductive beliefs. What I've come up with is a simple three step process that includes the use of a mantra.

3 STEPS TO REPROGRAM YOUR BRAIN

By: the1youwontforget

1. Learn to be honest about your emotions, pay attention to how you feel.

2. Learn to recognise which thoughts/beliefs hinder or don't serve you. You'll know because they won't feel so good.

3. Counteract the emotional effects of the belief by saying a tailored made mantra that will put you in a positive mind frame . For example, mine is: YOU CAN HAVE IT! You can construct your own mantra, find one on the Internet, or even think of a positive image.

Try it! think of a particular fear or stagnant belief then say: I CAN HAVE IT! I CAN HAVE IT! I CAN HAVE IT! I C A N   H A V E  I T ! While your saying this visualize an image of what you want, a contradiction to the immobilizing belief. Feel the satisfaction and joy that the positive vision brings, revel it, breath it in, smell it! :)

The age old saying fake it till you make it applies here. By repeating your mantra three times or more you subconsciously buy into it, and it can then slowly turn into a belief. Try and let me know!

Kids with Crazy Allergies: Are you Really Breathing?

I recently came across a book entitled: Conscious Breathing by Gay Hendricks which inspired me to write this post.

Since my son turned six months I have been on an endless quest to understand his eczema problems. My son would often have what I would call "itch fits" where he would frantically attempt to scratch everything on his body and I would just sit there and wonder what the hell was wrong with him. Mind you my son is allergic to so many different things: From fish, to nuts, to tomatoes, soy, egg whites, pollen and mold etc... But what would spark these "itch fits" was, and still remains a mystery to me.

However I have learned how to deal with him and his "fits".

1. Firstly I don't wash our clothes our his body with any thing other than fragrance free hypo-allergenic soap.

2.  Cold compresses. He knows the drill, nothing stops itching faster than the cold it also helps reduce inflammation that occurs if he's already been itching for a while (like while sleeping).

3. I try and make sure he is properly hydrated most people are unaware that eczema develops as extremely dry skin patches, so in order to combat this proper hydration is a must. Our bodies are over 70% water, why would you not replenish your body of it's number one nutrient?

4. Over moisturize. I'm always making blends with olive oil and I especially like natural Shea butter. It is especially nice to apply oils or butters while fresh out of the tub or shower while your body is still wet. It helps to seal in the remaining moisture and it makes it easier for application.

5. Avoid Junk like fast foods and foods that are overly processed. They additives (chemicals) that are in processed foods stress the body.

Any who, in Dr. Hendricks book he talks about how most people live their whole lives without breathing properly. The thing that really struck me is when he mentioned that 70% of toxins within the body are released through the breath! Have you ever noticed that those with skin issues usually are asthmatic or have some type pf breathing issue( perhaps they can't even breathe from their noses)? If your body can't expel toxins through respiration properly it will expel them through the next biggest eliminative "organ", which is if you haven't guessed it already...  your skin! So BREATHE BABY!

Get a book on conscious breathing, take a yoga class, or just simply set a few minutes aside each day to breath properly through your diaphragm/stomach. I highly recommend reading Dr. Hendricks book how he connected breathing to emotions almost had me in tears. He talked about how we as a culture repress our emotions by not breathing through them. Have you ever noticed when your going through a particularly difficult emotional situation, you hold your breath? Well Dr. Hendricks explains that doing this can trap emotions within, if you don't fully experience an emotion, repress it by holding back as we do our breaths your body can retain those emotions and past hurts. He also talks about his personal experiences in regards to breathing and how they have helped him stay connected or emotionally balanced one might say.

So there you have it my take on eczema, breathing, and emotions. Check out Dr Hendricks book it was very insightful and enlightening.

Helpful Links:

1. http://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Breathing-Breathwork-Release-Personal/dp/0553374435

2. http://www.onepowerfulword.com/2010/10/18-benefits-of-deep-breathing-and-how.html

3. http://www.breathing.com/articles/sex-breathing.htm