10 Questions Young Women Should Ask Their Mates

I'm in the process of developing a curriculum for young women that will stress the importance of choosing a good mate! I believe that a teaching mechanism such as this is vastly important as we have alarming rates of teen pregnancies as well as fathers who are unresponsive when it comes to their children.

This post is not a bash to parents who are doing the best that they can, however women in general have slacked greatly when it comes to holding a collective standard for their men. I waited until I was basically 20 years old to loose my virginity due in part to having a great mother and a friend who asked me a few questions and they went something like this:

My friend: what is one thing that you value more than anything that you call your own? Me: I don't know, but the first thing that comes to mind is my baby! my stereo system (I loved that thing almost as much as I loved myself).

My friend: Would you willingly give that to someone your dating? Say after just a month? Me: Hell NO!

My friend: Well if you wouldn't give your stereo system your pride and joy to someone your dating why would you willing think of giving away your virginity!?!

Me: Speechless (sitting silently in thought)

I wanted to recap a variation of the conversation that I had with my friend that night because it has stuck with me till this day. Whenever I started dating someone new I would always ask myself, would I give him my stereo system? lol

I believe that we as women don't talk to the young women in our life enough about relationships and sex. Sex itself is so taboo, but is one of the leading causes of death and heartache. I propose that young women ask or get the following information from their potential partner:

1. Will you go to the clinic to get tested with me?

2. Can I meet your family and friends?

3. Ask for a copy of their drivers license or ID to write down or retain the correct spelling of their name, birth date, and address. If they have to show ID to vote and buy liquor, why not before sex?

4. Ask about family relationships i.e: does he have kids what is relationship with his parents and or child(ren) like? Does he see and take care of them financially or otherwise on a consistent basis? (this can be really telling, a man who has a good relationship with his parents is a good thing!)

5. Does he have a job? Completed high school and have ambitions/dreams?

6. Will he show you off to his friends and family?

7. Does he love you! Is he to cool to say it? Does he want a relationship or just a fuck buddy?

8. (This should be higher on the list) Is he or has he been married or does he have a girlfriend? How long has it been? Whats the longest he's been in a relationship?

9. What does his credit look like? Is he responsible?

10. Will he vow to protect you at all times by wearing a condom?

I feel that if young women can't ask or obtain the info from their potential partners that is listed above as 10 questions, but is more like 20 then they should NOT give up the PUNANY! PERIOD! If he can't be honest with you then there are many many more fish in the sea! Don't settle is my advice, life is too short to live your life being a single parent unwillingly among a host of other things that can come along with not asking your partner the right questions. You have to love yourself FIRST, if you don't love you how do you expect him to?

Like Lauryn Hill said "some guys, some guys are only about... that thing..."

I LOVE MY SISTERS and will work to create sisterhood! Love n Lite!